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Thoughts on Family Focused Faith (Part 4)
Posted by John Stickley in Bible & Theology
As I continue this series on family focused faith, reflecting back to my previous post regarding idolatry in Christian families and re-reading the section of Voddie Baucham Jr.’s book which addresses the issue, I can’t help but to open up a can of worms with part 4 of this series.
Yes… Biblical submission.
I know… this is always a touchy topic in Baptist life, but it’s an important one. If “16All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, 17so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work (2 Timothy 3:16-17)”, how can we skip over Ephesians 5 in our discussion of family focused faith? Is there not direction given therein as to how families should operate?
You see, one of Voddie’s points in his chapter on idolatry in Christian families is that we often order our relationships inappropriately. If our children become idols (as we adopt the “children above everything” culture), is it any wonder our marriages suffer once they’re raised and on their own? If our marriage becomes our idol, is it any wonder our relationship with God suffers when things get rocky?
So Voddie looks to Ephesians 5:21, and the following 21 verses. He writes:
Verse 21 says that we are to be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. Verse 21 is an umbrella under which the next twenty-one verses fall. The submission in verse 21 is demonstrated in three relationships: wife/husband, child/parent, and servant/master. In other words, obedience to verse 21 (which is connected to verse 18 and the command to be filled with the Spirit) requires not only that children submit to parents, but that wives submit to husbands. You show me a wife that is not in submission to her husband, and I’ll show you a household in disarray. Can you imagine an army where sergeants openly disrespect generals, yet expect privates to respect them?
Don’t go off the deep end about this yet. I know Voddie neglects stating the obvious here… that verse 21 states that we are to “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Yes… one-another.
It’s pretty clear that husbands that fail to love their wives as Christ loves the church can create households in equal disarray.
The point seems clear, though… if our relationships are not aligning with Biblical standards, isn’t it likely that we’ll hinder the ability of our kids to grow in Christ as they should?
So I have a few questions:
– What does it mean to “order [our] relationships by the book” (as the subtitle to this section reads)?
– Just what should a Biblically structured family look like?
– How does your family structure contribute (or hinder, for that matter) to the discipling of your kids?
– How do Ephesians 5:21 and follow up verses play out in a practical manner in your family?
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We do have a submission problem in our home and it’s one that rears its ugly head on a far too regular basis. Namely, getting my stinkin’ pride to submit to our Lord.
The Bible says what it says, so the wife is to have an attitude of submissiveness toward her husband, IMO. BUT … the Bible’s instruction to the husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.
When THAT is the attitude of hubby, one of self-sacrifice and abandonment of personal preferences in the marriage, then you have the potential of the sort of marriage that would parallel the relationship of Jesus and the Church.
Or like that’s supposed to be, at least.
Perhaps the difficulty of ordering these relationships is highlighted by the fact that following the discussion of husbands/wives, children/parents, and slaves/masters, the Holy Spirit chooses to discuss spiritual warfare. The key to effectively living out these relationships may in fact lie in the way in which we wear (or don’t wear) the armor that is described.
John,
I’d be a liar if I said I don’t have the same problem. In all honest, that kind of submission is probably the biggest problem in families today, and probably the biggest reason why our children struggle with submission as well.
Bob,
I’ve heard it preached many times that when we, as husbands, love our wives as Christ loves the Church, we make Biblical submission much easier for our wives… even joyful. While Voddie gives an example where the wife in a marriage is causing problems due to lack of Biblical submission, I’m guessing that in most cases, such problems are as much our fault as husbands for failure to live up to the standards God sets for us.
Dave,
Good point. If we’re not wearing the full armor of God as described, we leave ourselves vulnerable to spiritual warfare. Destruction of family life is surely high on the enemy’s list of targets!
Have you dealt with this great passage on the family that is inspired by God?
Deut 21:18-21
18 If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and will not listen to them when they discipline him, 19 his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him to the elders at the gate of his town. 20 They shall say to the elders, “This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a profligate and a drunkard.” 21 Then all the men of his town shall stone him to death. You must purge the evil from among you. All Israel will hear of it and be afraid.
Do you have a point or thought relevant to this post, Howie?
For real … my town doesn’t even have a gate.
Howie,
Though never acted upon, I can assure you that I have felt the desire to personally practice the passage you bring up with both of my teenagers at different times. Though you present, perhaps, a sincere attempt to highlight biblical hypocrisy, you fail to understand basic biblical hermeneutics. Theologians often state that, “scripture interprets scripture”. Even an elementary understanding of the gospels would lead us to understand that all sin (rebellion included) is covered by the cross of Christ and is thus forgiveabe–not by the throwing of rocks–but rather by the blood of Jesus. Jesus faced a very real instance when a women caught in adultery was placed before him for stoning. His choice was to forgive her and to shame those who would stone her. You too can find this same forgiveness in Jesus even as I have. There’ll be no rock throwing today…
–Dave
[...] Thus far, this series on family focused faith (based on Voddie Baucham Jr.’s book), has touched on a number of topics: the discipleship void, issues with modern Christian parenting, cultural influences affecting our views toward kids, idolatry in Christian families, and Biblical submission. [...]