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Let’s Talk…
Posted by John Stickley in IMPACT Features
Alright everyone… we need to talk.
This morning, I woke up to find two of our contributors e-mailing me that they’re through with IMPACT. I’ve seen commenters noting the same over the past couple weeks.
Houston, we have a problem.
Everyone remember our site’s purpose?
The purpose of sbc IMPACT! is to bring glory to God by providing:
– A point of dialog for all Christians and, in particular, all Southern Baptists, to gather, read, and share insights about the victories and trials that we encounter day by day, and in so doing make an impact upon one another’s lives and ministries.
– A resource for local churches and missionaries by sharing life and ministry experiences and finding solutions to everyday problems that we encounter on our mission fields, thus making an impact by lifting up Christ to the nations.
– A network that provides information and Christian fellowship within a wholesome, God-honoring environment in the blogosphere, so that we might seek to make a positive impact through this cutting edge venue… to the Glory of God!
How about our commenting standards?
Your participation and opinions are welcome here. We don’t have a list of “Rules and Regulations.” Instead, when you are visiting sbc IMPACT!, we would ask that you participate based upon these standards:
– Please exercise grace and humility when making comments. We understand that there will be opportunities for healthy debate from time to time. But please keep your comments focused upon the issues in question. Please do not attack, slander, or malign any individual. If you step outside the bounds of Christian honor and dignity, you will be warned. We sincerely hope that we will never have to suspend any commenting privileges.
– Try to stay on focus in your comments. There will always be times when we may stray off topic and “chase a rabbit” or two. That’s fine. But if a comment thread really gets off-course, one of the contributors will help refocus. Please respect his/her direction.
– Please don’t gossip. It’s not a Christ-like behavior. If you make a claim, back it up with a reliable source.
– Feel free to link your blog or other web site. And while you’re at it, be sure to add sbc IMPACT! to your blogroll.
– Take time to comment on posts that you agree with or posts that encourage you. Don’t wait for something contentious before you jump into the conversation.
– We discourage anonymous commenting. We realize that there may be people who need to comment anonymously for security / job security reasons. If that is the case, just give us a brief explanation why you need to remain anonymous and we will respect your word.And that’s it! Now, that’s not so bad, is it? Of course, we reserve the right to amend or expand these Standards if it becomes necessary.
Now, join in the conversation, have fun, and be a blessing to the people of this blog community!
I think all of you would agree with me that we’ve fallen short of our stated goals. That’s “we”, as in contributors AND commenters.
We’re going to address this head-on… publicly. If we can’t work through things together and bring this site back in line with its stated purpose, I’m taking it down permanently.
Let’s show to the world that we CAN work through our differences, and that we CAN dialogue in a Christ-honoring manner.
Where have we fallen short? What do we need to do differently? What can each of you, personally, do to ensure this site really and truly is God-honoring?
Please take time to pray about this and comment upon as God leads.
Thanks, and God bless.
John Stickley
Your sbc IMPACT! Webmaster
http://www.toward-the-goal.net
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I seldom read all of the comments. I do remember that “dating” post a few days back–seems the discussion got way out of hand and veered far from the topic (in my humble opinion).
Perhaps more strict comment moderation is necessary to prevent future problems. It is a delicate balance, since readers don’t want to feel like they are being censored.
John,
I just wanted to say publicly what I have said privately to all of our contributors. I love sbcIMPACT and I believe it serves a wonderful purpose in the blogosphere as you have so eloquently stated.
I, for one, renew my commitment as a contributor to this blog. My frequency of posting here has reduced in May due to my candidacy for SBC President, but I affirm that I will return to a regular schedule of posting here after the SBC annual meeting in Indianapolis.
Kindest regards,
Les
Respect, in all things.
Folks,
I really appreciate the blogging effort you guys put forward. Generally speaking, I know I can come to this site, read what has been posted, comment if I feel led, and then not worry about being slammed for my comment (maybe gently corrected if I am off base). I appreciate that! I value the input of the various contributors and the time they put forward to keep believers challenged!
I look forward to whatever director the Lord leads you in.
Steve
Not to be rude, but who is John Stickley? I’m just wondering because John has suddenly come out of the woodwork.
In my opinion, I think the site would have to have several “new” contributors. Too many people here allow things to go over the line too often. Then, when someone has something good to say, it just gets lost in the shuffle. My experience here has been disappointing. Almost every single time I made a comment, I was told by the writer that I “didn’t understand what they were saying.” I don’t have a theology degree, but I do have a brain.
Next, I saw glimmers of God’s glory here and there on Impact, but that certainly doesn’t line up with your intent and purpose. I’m not quite sure why SBC Impact! even exists to be perfectly honest.
Lastly, it seems to me that things have gotten out of hand here before, but nothing was really said–especially about closing the blog. No, it wasn’t until contributors threatened to quit that you took heed.
Karen,
I see you are one of those Lurking in the Bushes and not having the courage to your Identity with a Blog of your own.
You said:
Not to be rude, but who is John Stickley? I’m just wondering because John has suddenly come out of the woodwork
Karen read the post and you will Know whom John is, as he has been around for a few years. It is you who is in the Closet (Woodwork).
Wayne Smith
Karen, you said:
Next, I saw glimmers of God’s glory here and there on Impact, but that certainly doesn’t line up with your intent and purpose. I’m not quite sure why SBC Impact! even exists to be perfectly honest.
Karen, Please show me ONE POST that has not been Christ Centered, here on SBC Impact.
Wayne Smith
Not everyone who comments here has a blog. That wasn’t one of the prerequisites to posting a comment that I know of. I’m not trying to hide at all. If you think every post here has been Christ-centered then you are blind. Or we have very differing views of what Christ-centered means. I refuse to play word games with you and will not be a part of disappointing God today. This is my official farewell to SBC Impact!
Karen,
I appreciate your input. Certainly all of us fall short of being wholly Christ-centered with each comment and post we make here as well as other places in the blogosphere. For that all of us should be contrite, humble, and repentant before our Lord.
If we have somehow failed you or our Lord, then we are deeply concerned and grateful to you for bringing this to our attention.
We strive, with each post, to have open, honest dialogue about issues that are dear to our heart. We also strive to conduct ourselves with dignity and grace. When we fall short of that objective, we hope our readers will hold us accountable. Perhaps we also need to hold our commenters accountable to conduct themselves with dignity and grace as well.
It is my hope that you will continue to read SBC Impact and comment as you are led by the Lord. We pledge to do our best to provide an atmosphere where everyone who comments is treated fairly and with grace.
Kindest regards,
Les Puryear
Karen,
Just checking in to say I second what my brother Les Puryear has said here. None of is perfect. But we are striving to honor Christ and to grow in grace. We hope you will stick with us. Your input really is valued.
I meant to say: None of us is perfect.
Just proves my point.
I will echo what both David and Les have shared. Let me give a perspective of this contributor.
It is easy to control your own blog. It is difficult to find consensus sometimes of a group of people. Add to that that IMPACT for all intents and purposes is a “secondary” priority for us – in that our priorities are to our churches or ministries or work – then our families. I don’t often check as much as I should – and don’t correct as often as I would like.
The tension of course is sometimes “what is over the line”? With 3/4′s of all communication being “non-verbal” what come out of the written page does not convey the emotion of the moment. It might “strike me” as mean spirited, but is it? On this side of the blogosphere, I am just left with a guess. Sometimes I am right – sometimes not. I really do not want to totally “shut down” conversation – often times it is during the heat of a discussion that revelation takes place – at the same time I really do not desire ad hominems or mean spiritedness to reign. Where is the fulcrum? Sometimes it is a guess.
We have failed as believers and as Christians and Baptists to show the proper spirit of humility as late on this forum. Now we can cry over it, or we can just determine by God’s grace to go forward. I prefer the latter.
Rob
I know that no one is perfect. I am the most imperfect person in the world. Just yesterday, I found myself wondering why in the world God called me to be the worship leader in my church. I would expect ups and downs on a blog because we are all human. BUT, as I’ve said in the past, I just don’t feel comfortable commenting here. The purpose of this blog entry was to talk and give concerns and ideas. Again, I feel like I’ve been given a million reasons why this site isn’t what you all had planned. Bottom line: It’s never your all’s fault. You rationalize and in your wordy repsonses you justify why you correct people and say the things you say. In the end, it always comes down to why you all are right and everyone else is wrong.
I know you all are pastors and have various ministries. However, the Internet is the newest way to communicate. In this case, is it being used for God’s glory or man’s? I have found myself in the middle of things before that I said I was doing for God, but the fruit was not there. That’s all I’m saying.
In your last paragraph Karen you are supporting a “false cause.” We do have ministries – what does that to do with “the Internet being the newest way to communicate?” Nothing really. Our ministries are to real live “people” in which we communicate with them daily. The most “effective” ministry is that one-on-one personal experience in which we see people fact to face. Nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing can take the place of that.
I agree that this place should be used for God’s glory. I attempt with all my being to make it so. Sometimes that is not enough, and when I say that I am not making excuses or passing the buck of blaming others. I am merely trying to convey a hectic and busy “reality” of what is. No more – No less.
Is there not one thing that has blessed you from one post from this site?
Rob
Karen,
I have been reluctant to respond to your statements today. But, as the guy who volunteers to sort of organize this collaboration, I just cannot be silent any longer.
sbc IMPACT! has been a labor of love for several of us for a number of months now. Indeed, I work week by week to remind writers of their post dates, recruit guest writers, edit, add pictures, etc… I get up at 05:30 every morning to make sure the site is up and in running order for the new day. Our writers write because they love to write. They take extra time out of their schedule to do so.
And there is no “reward” in it for any of us, other than the reward of writing, meeting new friends, and creating dialog. There’s no money in it. No notoriety. No glamor. It’s hard work. And it takes time. All of us have real jobs, ministries, and families. We do not live our lives within our computer keyboards. But we do enjoy writing, expressing our ideas, and engaging others. And every now and then we get dumped on … for something that we do as a hobby, really. The curious thing about this site is that, because we represent so many differing perspectives and viewpoints, we cannot be “pigeonholed” into any one “camp” in Baptist life. We are too diverse. So we tend to “catch it” from every direction on occasion. Such is the life of blogs. We’re big boys, so we can deal with it.
I suppose every person has different ways of measuring what they consider “out of hand.” If you think that the conversations on this site are, as a rule, “out of hand,” then I suggest that you don’t get out in the Baptist blogging world very much. Not by a long shot.
I believe that sbc IMPACT! is a bright spot and a kind place, compared to most. In fact, I know it is. Lately there have been a few individuals coming around who refuse to “play nice” and somehow think that our “standards” apply to everyone else but them. But, then, that’s just like life, isn’t it? Especially around God’s people … the church. So we have tried to just let certain things go … all in the name of grace. We hoped that, since everyone who visits here is an adult (and, most like, Christian to boot) that all would be capable of acting appropriately. I guess we were wrong. For that we can do nothing but apologize and try to do better.
People are messy. Debates can get messy. Most of the time they are resolved and people ask for and receive forgiveness. Most times it is handled off-line, as it should be.
I’m really not sure where your claim of mistreatment comes from. One of our contributors has researched the limited number of responses you have posted here and has not found any evidence of the treatment you claim to have received. I believe your “charges” are unfounded. Might you have this site confused with another? I believe that you have.
If you truly feel we are “out of hand,” talk down to you, and ultimately have no real “purpose,” I encourage you to pray for us as we continue to strive to attain our published standards, and we will pray for you as you continue your search for a blog community where you can feel more included.
Geoff,
What do you mean “no money in it”? I thought my checks have been late all this time.
Les
This is exactly what I was talking about. No one else has an opinion. All I meant about the Internet was that if someone is going to try to reach a lost and dying world they should certainly be concerned about what shows up on their site. I believe with all my heart that you all meant for this to be a witnessing tool. Very often, it has been. But, what about when it’s not? When feelings were hurt and mean words flew–that’s when I wondered what was going to give. That’s all I was saying. Truly, it isn’t what you guys write that ever bothers me. Actually, I believe and agree with what most of your blogs say. But, on the ocassions that I haven’t agreed I feel that I wasn’t allowed to have a different view. And, I never ever said that I commented ten times a day and was mistreated. But, honestly, I was either ignored or told in a round about way that I didn’t understand. You can research my “few” comments all you want, but you do not know my heart. And really what I have said today is extremely mild compared to some of the other things you have allowed to be published. I said them today because the webmaster wanted an opinion on how to improve the site. But, you all don’t really want to change or improve because the first person who gave an idea…you pounced on them.
I love people and I’m sure you all are finding that difficult to believe at this point. I just don’t think I am the only one feeling this way. After all, I’m not the only commentor walking and you have contributers walking. Obviously, since I have only made a few, meager comments, I will not be missed.
Thank you for being so kind as you boot me out the door. I have much, much better places to spend my time reading. Namely, the Bible. And I will publicly say that I will have to confess to the Lord of my life tonight for getting so angry. I am hurt and disappointed for being so completely misunderstood.
My dear sister,
The Bible describes the environment of Christians talking together about the things of God. It is called “iron sharpening iron”. It is messy at times. Opinions are shared. Scripture is revealed. Tempers may flare. Now at the end of the day we are called to “love one another” and that this love will be known by those whom we attempt to reach.
This is a public forum. With the best of intentions, hopes, and aspirations the founders put this place together so that it would be a “different” place for interested parties to converse. There are always those hotheads and others with axes to grind that will compromise this site – but is not that the way it is in the world? In our churches? We have been forgiven – but we have not reached our destination as yet.
I have conceded to you that we have not done all that we could to “get it right.” Forgive me. Will you? I pray that once again your feelings towards this site will be that you would like to intermingle again in the future. We (and “I”) have never shown you the door, nor will we. You are much appreciated Karen.
Rob
Karen,
Maybe I am misunderstanding you here. If so, I ask your forgiveness, and ask you to help me understand you better. But, in any case, I don’t see how any of the contributors here at sbcIMPACT! have “pounced” on you. We have heard your concerns, and attempted to dialogue with you with an open heart about them.
There will always be a tension between “something giving” when “feelings are hurt” and “mean words fly,” and “allowing (people) to have a different view.” We are trying to walk the tightrope between the two.
As far as I am concerned, and to be honest, your comments do cause me concern, and I don’t totally see where we at sbcIMPACT! may be quite so blameworthy as they seem to make us out to be. But, I don’t see them as inappropriate. They are your opinions, and fully worthy of respect and consideration.
In my opinion, that’s how they are being treated as well. If you do not believe so, it would help me out if you could show me a little more specifically where you believe such is the case.
Rob, all is forgiven. Life is short…
Karen,
I apologize for the delay in responding, but I’ve been travelling since last Friday. Staying in hotels with three kids ages 5 and under just doesn’t provide an atmosphere where you have a lot of time for this sort of thing. Looking back, I probably should have waited to post this until I knew I’d have time to handle the ensuing comment stream, but I really felt something had to be said to try to address the turmoil of recent weeks. Seeing your responses here, I can see we’ve apparently failed to do so, at least in your eyes.
So… I don’t know that you’ll get this, but I feel I should answer your question, “who is John Stickley?”.
Obviously, you can learn a lot about me from my blog (Toward the Goal), if you so desire. In fact, there’s a whole category entitled, “My Life” there that you can browse and probably learn more than you want to know about me. Of course, the highlight of the site is the Family Photos section… most people probably enjoy seeing my kids far more than reading what I have to write. Anyway… I would imagine you’re more interested in my involvement with sbc IMPACT! rather that just the generic “who I am” (especially since I’ve remained “behind the scenes” here from day one).
So… here it is. Perhaps this will be enlightening for all of you who come to visit.
First, I’m the one responsible for the design, administration, and maintenance of the website. While Geoff and the other contributors address content, I take care of all things technical. I’m also the one who pays the bills for this site, so I consider myself ultimately responsible for everything that is posted here. In other words, as far as I’m concerned… the buck stops here (hence, my intervention).
Secondly, I’m one of three (with Geoff and Rob being the other two) that initially conceived and brought this site into existence. Though not an active contributor (that’s something I’ve never seriously considered), I serve as kind of an advisor of sorts to the IMPACT team.
My reasons for remaining out of public view have been varied, but put most basically, I felt it necessary to keep my name off the site publicly to help ensure its success. Bottom line… I have been somewhat vocal about Baptist issues in the past, and I didn’t want any “baggage” I might bring to affect this site’s purpose and intent. Perhaps it was dishonest to do… I suppose that’s debatable. Whatever the case, I can assure you, I’ve remained behind the scenes with the best of intents.
So… that’s that.
In looking back at our “purpose statement”, I think I can see where your opinion that we’ve totally missed the intended target with this site comes from. Perhaps those words should have been thought through more clearly, as they clearly convey our primary intent (to host and foster God-honoring discussion), but fall short in that we specifically listed the topics of life, ministry, and missions. At no point in time was our intent to limit discussion to those issues alone (which, generally, are pretty non-controversial and uplifting). I think the tagline at the top of the site really describes our intended topics best… “thoughtful discussion of issues affecting Southern Baptists“. That’s an almost all-encompassing range of topics, some of which (as we’ve seen recently), are contentious.
All along, my primary hope for this site has been that all of us… commenters and contributors alike… would err on the side of grace when engaging in discussion or debate. I didn’t care the topic (although I’ll admit, I was hopeful to see some of the “hot topics” in SBC life addressed and discussed here)… I wanted to see Baptists discussing things with grace, humility, and respect.
But this group blog where those “hot topics” have dominated of late? It’s never been the sole ultimate hope for the site, at least not in my mind. SelahV’s devotional site was a wonderful idea, and a welcome addition… I’m greatly saddened to hear she plans to take her writings elsewhere. I’d hoped to eventually develop other subsections as well… a literature review site (I can’t count the number of times I’d wished I’d had something like that available to me as I’ve been looking for materials for my Sunday School class)… a public discussion forum (where anyone can post and discuss topics, not just blog contributors)… maybe even an open Bible commentary site as well (where all of us can tackle Scripture together and learn from each other). Perhaps those things are more along the lines of what you (and others) had hoped to see.
The problem in seeing these things to fruition has really been described well by Geoff… all of our contributors have other things that demand their attention. I KNOW I don’t have time to make this site all I’d like it to be… this site comes way down the list in order of my life’s priorities. If qualified, committed contributors interested in helping with those other ideas for IMPACT were to come forward, I’m sure we’d welcome their help in making these other portions of the site happen.
Anyway, I’ve rambled on a lot here, baring my heart for this site, but life’s priorities need to take their proper order of precendence again… it’s almost midnight, and I’d like to spend some time with my wife (who is so wonderfully patient, supportive, and understanding of this). My apologies if this isn’t well-composed and crystal clear… I haven’t reviewed this thoroughly like I normally do.
God bless…
John
John,
Thank you for being kind to me in your response and I appreciate the fact that you cared enough to respond. I think you mentioned something that I have analyzed about myself. I believe I do hunger for a different type of reading than what Impact offers. I also prefer interaction with people that is much more inspirational. I know that I have not been a huge commentor for your site, but I did read it a lot and when I saw how others were addressed, I chose not to comment many, many times.
I am a simple person, but I feel like God gives me important things to say at times. I always felt that my voice was drowned out here. I know that Rob apparently has statistics to back up how many times I have commented, but by drowned out, I mean either I was ignored, reprimanded, or kept my thoughts to myself. And that is a hurtful feeling no matter how many times you actually wind up commenting. In all honesty, I tried to support the site because of SelahV. That’s why I came back again and again hoping to find that she had posted on that given day.
You may have noticed that I finally responded to Rob and told him “all was forgiven.” I do feel like life is too short to stay upset over something like blog comments. But, Rob did not reciprocate by saying anything to me at all after that. That leaves me feeling like he didn’t care to begin with.
I think, hopefully, that you have accepted my comments as much more than mere bickering. It was pure curiosity that I asked who you were since I had never heard or seen your name.
So, with all of that said, I appreciate the time that you gave to me.
Karen,
Withe respect, I believed that the conversation was over. I apologized – you forgave me. What more needed to be said? What exactly were you waiting for?
For the record, I am not the contributor who did a stat study of your every comment. Who did so is irrelevant, yet it was done in the hopes of finding if any of us had done what you have suggested in your original posting.
I am going to be as gentle as possible here. You seem my sister to be a kind, sensitive person. There is nothing wrong with that. At the same time, might it be said that you can find offense where no offense is present, or intended? I do not know the answer – just asking the question.
Does everything your pastor say inspires you, encourages you, lifts you up? Do you go home each and every Sunday saying, “Wow!” Or are you like most of us when some days what he is saying does not make any sense, or have any encouraging work in your Spirit on that day. Do you give up on him? Or do you ponder this truth: that many times the Spirit is working on the other side of the room, and therefore your purpose is to pray for them “over there?”
God bless you my sister,
Rob